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Wedding, Planning & Who Pays For What

Posted by mikenopolis on October 10, 2011

So…I think we decided on the MONTH/YEAR of our wedding. It MIGHT be October 2012. Reception location has already been decided, not really much of a choice since her parents (mother specifically) were the ones who made the decision. Apparently the place we liked was too whitewashed which was what we were going for since the more authentic/traditional Chinese restaurants would not sit well with some of the non-Asian guests we plan to invite.

We are looking at a little over or under 200 guests, majority of them will be her family and friends. My family members are all over the place and it would cost most o them way too much to come (Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Germany, England) and since I really don’t ever talk to any of them it doesn’t really matter. Friends? Well, the people I call friends are really more like past acquaintances, we talk online, email and stuff. But when it comes down to it we really have lost touch since the last time we physically saw each other in high school, college and previous employment. These are people I call my friends, but asking them to come to my wedding or to be my groomsman would seem a bit out of the ordinary in my case. I really have no idea what we are going to do in terms of the traditional groomsmen thing. I know for a fact that I will NOT have a bachelor’s party. I don’t drink, I don’t party, I’ve been to strip joints with friends a few times in my younger days and that atmosphere was not fun for a germaphobe, last thing I want is a possible whore prancing around me.

A traditional Chinese reception/banquet is held at a Chinese restaurant, all the tables seats 10 people and food (a 10 course meal) is served family style. Restaurant that hold reception have various pre set menus that cost anywhere from $400 to over $1000 PER TABLE. We are looking to have the $600 per table option at this moment which equates to $60 a head, so with 200 guests, 20 tables, it would cost $12,000 plus tax and gratuity, there are other charges that comes with closing down the restaurant (or part of) for a night.

A friend of mine got married a little while ago and I asked her who paid for the wedding since she’s on a teacher’s salary and is still going to grad school, she said her father paid for most of it. We’re not planning to have kids, but if we do end up changing our minds (which may happen because my fiancĂ© wants her mother to have grandchildren (weird) and her sister having children is looking a bit doubtful) I do NOT want a girl any more. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t hate children. I’m just very opinionated on what a person needs to be capable of prior to being a parent, and for me to be a good father, I would have to give up a lot of things I love, such as my obsession with cleanness and neatness. Anyone who gets in my car comments on how clean it is…I don’t want to give that up, but I would for my child (many parents don’t understand that…talking to you parents that drops your kids off at grandmas so you can go clubbing on a Thursday night!)

I digress. I saw this on OurMarriage.com on who traditionally pays for what for a wedding. Last time I checked her family is not rich!

ITEM RESPONSIBILITY
Wedding Gown, Headpiece & Accessories The Bride’s Family
Wedding Ring for Bride The Groom
Wedding Ring for Groom The Bride
Wedding Gift for Groom The Bride
Wedding Gift for Bride The Groom
Bridesmaid Gifts The Bride
Groomsmen/Usher Gifts The Groom
Bride’s Bouquet The Groom
Bridesmaid Bouquets The Bride’s Family
Mother’s Corsages The Groom
Grandmother Corsages The Bride’s Family
Groom’s Boutonniere The Groom
Groomsmen Boutonnieres The Groom
Usher’s Boutonnieres The Groom
Ceremony/Reception Flowers The Bride’s Family
Altar Baskets/Arches The Bride’s Family
Canopy/Carpet The Bride’s Family
Kneeling Bench/Candleabrahs The Bride’s Family
Rented Items for Wedding The Bride’s Family
Rented Items for Reception The Bride’s Family
Invitations/Announcements The Bride’s Family
Wedding Programs The Bride’s Family
Napkins/Matches/Printed Items The Bride’s Family
Marriage License The Groom
Medical Visit for Bride The Bride
Medical Visit for Groom The Groom
Church Fee The Bride’s Family
Clergyman/Officiant Fee The Groom
Musician/Soloist The Bride’s Family
Church Janitor The Bride’s Family
Reception Hall Fee The Bride’s Family
Catered Reception/Professional Services The Bride’s Family
Wedding Photography The Bride’s Family
Video Photography The Bride’s Family
Orchestra/Band/DJ The Bride’s Family
Wedding Cake The Bride’s Family
Wedding Favors The Bride’s Family
Groom’s Cake The Groom’s Family
Rice Bags The Bride’s Family
Rehearsal Dinner The Grooms Family
Bridesmaid Luncheon The Bride
Bachelor Party Best Man/Groom’s Attendants
Wedding Breakfast The Bride’s Family
Bridal Brunch The Bride’s Family
Bridesmaid’s Gowns Bridesmaid’s
Maid of Honor Gown Maid of Honor
Matron of Honor Gown Matron of Honor
Best Man Formal Wear Best Man
Usher’s Formal Wear Ushers
Groomsmen’s Formal Wear Groomsmen
Gloves/Ties/Ascots for Attendants The Groom
Father of Bride Formal Wear Bride’s Family
Father of Groom Formal Wear Groom’s Family
Children’s Formal Wear The Children’s Parents
Limousine Service The Groom
Honeymoon Arrangements The Groom
Travel Expenses to the Wedding The Out-of-town Attendant or Family Member
Accommodations for out-of town Guests The Bride
Gifts for the Couple Guest, Attendants and Family

One Response to “Wedding, Planning & Who Pays For What”

  1. l4y said

    wow.. that is insane! My parents paid for half of the reception related (food, flowers, decorations, etc etc), and the Mr paid for half. All his parents paid for was rehearsal dinner. The Mr also paid for all the groommen’s tuxedos and my family paid for bridesmaids’ dresses, my wedding dress, anything bride’s related pretty much. The Mr paid for pretty much everything groom’s related… we split the Honeymoon. We definitely did NOT pay for accommodations for out-of town guests. That would have been insane since 80% of our guests were out of towners. But hey, you guys changed it from 2013 to next year? Yay!!!!

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