The World Through My Eyes

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Parents…Not Everyone Should Be One

Posted by mikenopolis on January 6, 2011

I’ve been quiet for a while since I tend to “Mico-blog” via Twitter and I vent all my frustrations and ideas through that these days. I do keep a little .txt file with ideas on what to write and complain about but just haven’t gotten around to actually typing them out yet. But this post made by Natali Morris née Del Conte made me crawl out from blogging hibernation. If you don’t want to hear me rant or offend you, go directly to this post: and read what she wrote that makes me know she will be a great mother and should be an example to all parents. I think everyone needs to realize that you CANNOT think and be the same person you were once you are a parent. It would be wrong and irresponsible.

As anyone who knows me personally or has ever read a few of my blog posts or tweets know, I’m very much a “Debbie-Downer”, I’m known to find the bad in everything, and hate on things that doesn’t necessarily even matter to most poeple. Yes, I say I do not like children. I say this not because I hate kid, I actually don’t, There’s nothing cuter than a child’s innocent smile. I taught swimming for 13 years and enjoyed that feeling when one of my kids finally gets it and improves dramatically because of something I taught them. At times I actually want to have two of my own (not that my fiancé would say yes to that). I just don’t like people’s reasons for having children and many of these parents have no parenting skills and are not willing to learn them. For all those children I cringe at, it’s not your fault I label you as the a-hole child that just won’t shut up, it’s your parents’ fault because they think your crying is “cute” or that running freely around a restaurant is a safe thing for a child to do. Or you as a 12 year old child is allowed to call me an a-hole because I didn’t buy your chocolate bar in front of a grocery store. No you effed up father, you should tell your child not to use profanity at that age THEN try to guilt me into giving him a dollar.

Natali Morris brings up some very good points in her post regarding her 2011 New Year Contemplations (as opposed to “resolutions”) that I think people who wants to have children should pay attention to. At my current old age of 31, many of my friends, colleagues and acquaintances have had a child or two, some are pregnant or will be in the coming year or so. However many of them are living the same lifestyle they did before the child came along. They head out to happy hour, bars and clubs when they should be at home caring for their children, spending $2,000 on a purse instead of saving up for the kid’s expensive future (college is getting pricier every year), listen to their music loudly and drive….like me (not a good thing) with their child in the car. Sometimes they leave their kids with the grandparents while they head over to Vegas for a few days, other times they take them along to restaurants where they are free to cry and interrupt other people’s meal time conversations. I’ve been to weddings where babies are crying and the parent just sit there as if they weren’t the ones ruining someone’s wedding memories. Here are some of the points Natali made in regards to the way her priorities have or needs to change due to her new job title (mother).

Then: Stay on top of your housework.
Now: Learn to be okay with being a little behind in housework so that you don’t miss out on quality family time.

Then: Finish The Economist every week.
Now: Don’t miss story time.

Then: Increase deposits to savings account.
Now: Increase deposits to baby’s college fund.

Then: Drink more water.
Now: Keep sodas out of the house.

Then: Maintain regular workouts.
Now: Try to find time for a workout.

Then: Keep up with your inbox.
Now: Read your email.

Then: Eat more fruits and vegetables.
Now: Make sure your family eats more fruits and vegetables.

Then: Get enough sleep.
Now: Get some sleep.

Then: Be a good daughter, sister, friend, and coworker.
Now: Be a good wife, mother, and all of the above.

Then: Try not to be so selfish with your time.
Now: Try to be a little more selfish with your time.

Our family and friends wants us to have kids because “It’s the right thing to do”, “We need you to pass on the family name”, “They will be cute, you two are good looking people”, “It’s weird not to when you are married”, “who’s going to take care of you when you get old and sick”, “They’ll be fun to play with”, “You guys can go ahead and work, I’ll take care of the kids for you”. Here’s are a few of MY reasons for having children if I ever do, it is still a selfish reason as I think most people’s reasons are (because in summary, I want to do it to be better parents than mine):

I would guide someone who is better than myself 100%. Teach him or her all the mistakes I’ve made, witnessed and avoided. You may say I should just work at a Boy’s & Girl’s Club or be a teacher. I want to be there 100% of the way from their birth ’til my death.

Be positive about the decisions they make, unlike my parents who forced me out of what was my passion (Marine Biology). At the same time, I want them to have the guts to say no to me when the time and reason is right.

I want them to love life and get everything out of it that I was never able to, yet be civil while doing so. Don’t pursue to be a successful musician if your passion is the fame and fortune. The passion for music needs to be the drive.

In the end I want to be able to spoil them unlike what my abusive and controlling parents did to me (this is the bad parenting part) at the same time I want them to truly know the value of a dollar and be humble and appreciative of how lucky we all are to have everything we do. Freedom is not free. Just because we live in a peaceful neighborhood where we worry about stuff like whether there’s traffic or not doesn’t mean that hundreds, thousands of kids out there aren’t still fighting for our freedom. There are too many kids and even adults who just don’t understand that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Please each your children the bigger picture.

Like Chris Rock said/joked. Our only job as a parent is to “keep your daughter off the pole” I feel that many parents (not most, not all) are creating douche-bags and whores (sorry for the harsh language). The entertainment industry is not helping with tv programs that are clearly bad…Ed Hardy and Rock Republic on little kids is just the wrong message all around, Let children be children.

2 Responses to “Parents…Not Everyone Should Be One”

  1. ex roomie said

    Clap clap!!!! Love this post! I’m forwarding this.

  2. […] having children is looking a bit doubtful) I do NOT want a girl any more. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t hate children. I’m just very opinionated on what a person needs to be […]

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