Wedding, Planning & Who Pays For What
Posted by mikenopolis on October 10, 2011
So…I think we decided on the MONTH/YEAR of our wedding. It MIGHT be October 2012. Reception location has already been decided, not really much of a choice since her parents (mother specifically) were the ones who made the decision. Apparently the place we liked was too whitewashed which was what we were going for since the more authentic/traditional Chinese restaurants would not sit well with some of the non-Asian guests we plan to invite.
We are looking at a little over or under 200 guests, majority of them will be her family and friends. My family members are all over the place and it would cost most o them way too much to come (Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Germany, England) and since I really don’t ever talk to any of them it doesn’t really matter. Friends? Well, the people I call friends are really more like past acquaintances, we talk online, email and stuff. But when it comes down to it we really have lost touch since the last time we physically saw each other in high school, college and previous employment. These are people I call my friends, but asking them to come to my wedding or to be my groomsman would seem a bit out of the ordinary in my case. I really have no idea what we are going to do in terms of the traditional groomsmen thing. I know for a fact that I will NOT have a bachelor’s party. I don’t drink, I don’t party, I’ve been to strip joints with friends a few times in my younger days and that atmosphere was not fun for a germaphobe, last thing I want is a possible whore prancing around me.
A traditional Chinese reception/banquet is held at a Chinese restaurant, all the tables seats 10 people and food (a 10 course meal) is served family style. Restaurant that hold reception have various pre set menus that cost anywhere from $400 to over $1000 PER TABLE. We are looking to have the $600 per table option at this moment which equates to $60 a head, so with 200 guests, 20 tables, it would cost $12,000 plus tax and gratuity, there are other charges that comes with closing down the restaurant (or part of) for a night.
A friend of mine got married a little while ago and I asked her who paid for the wedding since she’s on a teacher’s salary and is still going to grad school, she said her father paid for most of it. We’re not planning to have kids, but if we do end up changing our minds (which may happen because my fiancĂ© wants her mother to have grandchildren (weird) and her sister having children is looking a bit doubtful) I do NOT want a girl any more. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t hate children. I’m just very opinionated on what a person needs to be capable of prior to being a parent, and for me to be a good father, I would have to give up a lot of things I love, such as my obsession with cleanness and neatness. Anyone who gets in my car comments on how clean it is…I don’t want to give that up, but I would for my child (many parents don’t understand that…talking to you parents that drops your kids off at grandmas so you can go clubbing on a Thursday night!)
I digress. I saw this on OurMarriage.com on who traditionally pays for what for a wedding. Last time I checked her family is not rich!
ITEM | RESPONSIBILITY |
---|---|
Wedding Gown, Headpiece & Accessories | The Bride’s Family |
Wedding Ring for Bride | The Groom |
Wedding Ring for Groom | The Bride |
Wedding Gift for Groom | The Bride |
Wedding Gift for Bride | The Groom |
Bridesmaid Gifts | The Bride |
Groomsmen/Usher Gifts | The Groom |
Bride’s Bouquet | The Groom |
Bridesmaid Bouquets | The Bride’s Family |
Mother’s Corsages | The Groom |
Grandmother Corsages | The Bride’s Family |
Groom’s Boutonniere | The Groom |
Groomsmen Boutonnieres | The Groom |
Usher’s Boutonnieres | The Groom |
Ceremony/Reception Flowers | The Bride’s Family |
Altar Baskets/Arches | The Bride’s Family |
Canopy/Carpet | The Bride’s Family |
Kneeling Bench/Candleabrahs | The Bride’s Family |
Rented Items for Wedding | The Bride’s Family |
Rented Items for Reception | The Bride’s Family |
Invitations/Announcements | The Bride’s Family |
Wedding Programs | The Bride’s Family |
Napkins/Matches/Printed Items | The Bride’s Family |
Marriage License | The Groom |
Medical Visit for Bride | The Bride |
Medical Visit for Groom | The Groom |
Church Fee | The Bride’s Family |
Clergyman/Officiant Fee | The Groom |
Musician/Soloist | The Bride’s Family |
Church Janitor | The Bride’s Family |
Reception Hall Fee | The Bride’s Family |
Catered Reception/Professional Services | The Bride’s Family |
Wedding Photography | The Bride’s Family |
Video Photography | The Bride’s Family |
Orchestra/Band/DJ | The Bride’s Family |
Wedding Cake | The Bride’s Family |
Wedding Favors | The Bride’s Family |
Groom’s Cake | The Groom’s Family |
Rice Bags | The Bride’s Family |
Rehearsal Dinner | The Grooms Family |
Bridesmaid Luncheon | The Bride |
Bachelor Party | Best Man/Groom’s Attendants |
Wedding Breakfast | The Bride’s Family |
Bridal Brunch | The Bride’s Family |
Bridesmaid’s Gowns | Bridesmaid’s |
Maid of Honor Gown | Maid of Honor |
Matron of Honor Gown | Matron of Honor |
Best Man Formal Wear | Best Man |
Usher’s Formal Wear | Ushers |
Groomsmen’s Formal Wear | Groomsmen |
Gloves/Ties/Ascots for Attendants | The Groom |
Father of Bride Formal Wear | Bride’s Family |
Father of Groom Formal Wear | Groom’s Family |
Children’s Formal Wear | The Children’s Parents |
Limousine Service | The Groom |
Honeymoon Arrangements | The Groom |
Travel Expenses to the Wedding | The Out-of-town Attendant or Family Member |
Accommodations for out-of town Guests | The Bride |
Gifts for the Couple | Guest, Attendants and Family |
l4y said
wow.. that is insane! My parents paid for half of the reception related (food, flowers, decorations, etc etc), and the Mr paid for half. All his parents paid for was rehearsal dinner. The Mr also paid for all the groommen’s tuxedos and my family paid for bridesmaids’ dresses, my wedding dress, anything bride’s related pretty much. The Mr paid for pretty much everything groom’s related… we split the Honeymoon. We definitely did NOT pay for accommodations for out-of town guests. That would have been insane since 80% of our guests were out of towners. But hey, you guys changed it from 2013 to next year? Yay!!!!